Return of the Frights and Fun Festival (Breakdown)
For the first time in over 30 years, Salem’s Frights and Fun Festival has returned to grace us all with a selection of fair rides, educational displays, games, and food. While a departure from the fairs of the past, many will agree that’s a good thing. So, if you missed it, or were too nervous to approach, here’s how it all went.
Upon first arriving at the fair, one felt immediately drawn to the massive parade floats, set up around Salem Common in preparation. Each was decorated wonderfully, with some embodying a theme, such as the Will-O-The-Wisp float, which was designed as a wooden boat surrounded by beautifully dancing enchanted lights and staffed by a cloaked ferryman. Other floats were set up as almost the kind one would see at Pride, and some acted as advertisements, with one particular float sporting a large “Spellmart Presents Halloween” sign atop it. There, children were able to try individual candies, light sparkle-wands, and have their photo taken with the float’s mascot, Samuel the Scarecrow. This last bit eventually caused a fair amount of confusion by the end of the second night.
As one entered the festival proper, they were greeted by the sounds of music, laughter, and games. An actual ferris wheel rose above the Common, rooted to the ground with steel reinforcements, much to the appreciation of most of the older folks I watched pass by. Many tried to impress their dates by attempting the “Test Your Strength” hammer game, only to miss by a sometimes embarrassing distance. Others were able to hit the bell on their first try, and, according to one staffer, this was due to the enchantment on the game being “a little judgy” about who succeeds on the first attempt. While I’m normally one for fair play, even I have to say how fun it was to watch a college aged man be absolutely trounced by a small boy who couldn’t have been out of elementary school. He then went into a tirade about how “fucking rigged” the game was until festival security escorted him away from the area. The man refused to give his name for reference in this article.
As the group I was with milled about the food area, testing the various food truck cuisines under the watchful eye of Salem PD, I caught up with Sarah McKnight, Chancellor of the Essex County Enchanter’s Guild, and organizer of the whole festival. She’d just finished up a small lecture on the cause of the original Salem Witch Trials, entitled “Ergo, Ergot.” I’m honestly disappointed I missed it, but according to a few witches I know, it was very informative, if a little dry. Sarah was only able to stay for a bit, as other duties pulled her all over the festival grounds, but she informed us as to some of the goings-on behind the scenes.
“Really, it’s all a much larger turnout than I expected. We’ve got so many entries into the Pageant that we’ve had to add a full half hour to it. I had to drag some of the enchanters away from portal duty to help expand the stage. On the plus side, we got almost no protestors. There’s only a couple of people around the pavilion with picket signs.” She then checked her phone, exclaimed “Merlin’s fucking beard!” and rushed off, telling us to enjoy the festival.
In reaching out to her after the festival, we found that she’d run off to deal with a problem regarding the haunted house. The tent setup, boasting two dozen terrifying scenes, had been a bit too scary, with a Vlad Tepes impersonator setting up realistic illusions of impaled bodies along one of the hallways. After receiving several complaints, staffers shut down the attraction temporarily as the scene was redecorated, the actor replaced, and the police sweeping the area to see if anything actually malevolent had been afoot. The actor, Jonah Halloway, was banned from the festival for the rest of its run this year. The attraction had been rated for ages 12+. Thankfully, of the children who went through, only a few were seriously upset.
The scariest thing I saw in the haunted house after it was set up was a fortune teller machine. It produced a fortune made to appeal to one’s deepest fears.
Mine foretold being stuck in traffic with my ex on I-95 for three hours.
A bit too close to home, there, haunted house.
By far, the most impressive attraction was the portal to the Infinite Corn Maze. The gate was about fifteen feet high, held open by a runed standing archway and a rotating shift of enchanters constantly crafting wards through the night. Only a few of my party chose to pass through, the rest staying behind to check out some more of the rides, the food, or the bands playing in the pavilion.
Passing through the gate left one in a slightly chilly area, with corn fields as far as the eye could see. The corn itself wasn’t actually edible to any of us, due to some anomalous properties. As you entered, you were given a small cloth wristband, enchanted to act as a safety device, which Sarah talked about in our recent interview. Staff members were gathered in a ten meter clearing at the entrance to the maze, serving hot cider, maintaining the corn labyrinth, and acting as security. We were told again how the area around the gate was cleared of Stalk Walkers through use of spells and thermal scanning, but we were told to beware “other ghosts and ghouls that haunt this maze of maize”.
That remark earned a few groans from my friends, but informed us of the various spooky vignettes and characters that we would run into as we made our way through. Some of them chased us about, but not for too long. In total, our time in the Infinite Corn Maze was about twenty-five minutes, including two attempts to find the end and having some refreshments. We were able to exit without much trouble.
Trouble would, however, find the Festival after the first night. As the celebration went on, there started to be more and more reports of strangeness among the corn fields. People were chased out, in good fun, they thought, by groups of tall, gangly men dressed as scarecrows who were chased off by security around the exit portal. Sometimes people would turn around to find that the path they’d just walk down was nothing but thickly packed rows of corn where there had previously been none. Occasionally groups of people would leave with one more or one less in their party, or, troublingly, having changed who was wearing what costume.
All hell broke loose when the staffers finally realized that a pack of stalk walkers had somehow made it out of the exit and entrance portals, having burrowed straight through it. Salem PD worked tirelessly afterwards, retrieving all the participants lost inside the maze, which rapidly began shifting, and hunting down all the stalk walkers that had made it out.
The following is the latest from Salem PD:
“Our officers appreciate the volunteers who have stepped forward to assist us in hunting down the last of the Stalk Walkers and returning them to the gate. However, we ask that all citizens stay inside at night and ensure their homes and all outbuildings are kept locked and clear at all times. If you do not feel comfortable clearing your own property, you can call upon an officer or trooper to do so for you. Be aware that Stalk Walkers are not strong on their own, but generally act as a pack and can be dangerous when cornered. If you spot any scarecrows where there were none before, call it in to us using the emergency hotline.”
Despite this ongoing trouble, a survey conducted by the Essex County Enchanter’s Guild shows extremely favorable reviews, with about 90% at last check wanting to bring it back again on an annual basis.
