"AB Negative" Blood Flavor is reportedly in production
December 8th, 2019
Ewan Taylor, for WTCH Radio
If sources are to be believed, it would seem that Vampires may finally be getting the long-awaited AB Neg blood substitute.
Blood is something near and dear to most of us, but especially to Vampires. For decades, companies from all over the planet have been working tirelessly to develop synthetic blood for our Vampire friends and neighbors. In the early days, the primary directive of these companies was to make a substitute for Human blood that would sustain a vampire without them needing to touch a human vein or buy from hospitals. Early experiments included failed attempts to sustain cell division outside the body, and of course the infamous Cattle Blood Cocktails which caused physical mutations in all who drank too much of it.
Nowadays however, we have developed a synthetic base formula that sustains vampires almost as well as human blood. With this formula at the public's disposal, it became a race to develop a blood substitute that not only sustained a Vampire, but that tasted like the real thing and was cheap to produce.
Plenty of different companies have created their own brands, many of which you can still find on the shelves today. However, the two biggest players have been Synthe, which has been developing substitutes since 1985, and I Can't Believe It's Not Human, which came crashing into the scene in 1996, not only with replicative flavors, but innovative new concoctions such as What's Up White Blood Cells and Insanely Immunocompromised (since discontinued).
Since ICBINH's introduction, the company has been subject to many controversies, often getting caught using illegal ingredients for their human substitutes. Nevertheless, customers regularly returned to them, and they have consistently been neck-and-neck with their comparator Synthe, which has been steadily losing out in market sales. This is seemingly due to their lack of new flavors, although SyntheBucks cafes have proven very popular with younger Vampires.
As innovative as these companies have gotten in their rivalry, however, neither has been able to attain the Holy Grail of Synthetic Blood: AB Negative. AB Neg is the rarest human blood type, and has a flavor that has thus far been non-replicable by scientists or mages. Many have tried, specifically Synthe and ICBINH in this case, mostly by creating mixtures Synthetic Base with safely diluted animal bloods. Of course, this almost always results in an awfully bitter flavor and ruffles the feathers of PETA protesters.
Pure human AB Negative blood is not only a rare commodity, but is widely considered to be the most delectable blood type, so much so that Blood Donation centers and even some Thrall Halls are willing to pay large sums of money to human clients in that group. So, developing a synthetic substitute has been the finish line for these companies for a very long time, and both Synthe and ICBINH development firms have been at the forefront of the research.
Unfortunately, neither company has been able to fabricate the flavor in these nearly 25 years. However, if sources are to be believed, ICBINH may have finally beaten Synthe to the punch, and will reveal the new flavor during a press conference next Wednesday. While nothing is confirmed, we do have evidence of a new product patent of a redacted formula, filed for I Can't Believe It's Not Human.
We have yet to hear from CEO Mike Parker regarding the rumors, but should they be true, this would mean that the race to fabricate synthetic AB Neg will be over once and for all. Given ICBINHs history, it is unlikely that they will share the flavor recipe, but we do hope that competitor companies can catch up soon.